I thought about it and talked with Nathan about it much. I finally figured out that I dont understand why I wasnt good enough for them. Its a question that may never be answered. Of course I am asking that of people who do not undestand what unconditional love is so in turn I am asking them to respect a value that I cherish. That is a silly thought.
Its a trap I get in all the time, its the "I am a christian, so i dont understand why you dont play by my rules" trap. Really when I sit down and think about it I dont understand why i would even begin to think those who dont know Him would want to play by His rules, but it is just easy to put those expectations on those around you.
In the end though I hope that those memories I hold so dear and close to my heart are as cherished to them. I hope they remember who I am. I hope they remember the laughter. I hope they remember the tears. I hope they remember the encouragement. I know those memories stand clear in my mind and have for years.
In some bible studies I am in I have found that God has been teaching a recurrent theme. You will be tested at your strongest point. So someone who is beautiful will doubt their beauty. Someone who prays wonderfully and often and humbly will doubt that their prayers are heard. So maybe my struggle is based on some strength I have that Satan wants to test. Its possible and real.
Thoughts?
Monday, July 6, 2009
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2 comments:
The hardest thing I've learned in the past few years is that some friendships are seasonal. My very best friend from 8th grade, we were friends all through college. Then our lives started taking different turns and interests. Instead of growing together with those, we grew apart. It was really hard to try to hold on desparately or take it personally. I still miss her but I am surrounded by others that we are living life together, not necessarily in the same location but I cherish them! Looking forward to seeing you on Friday!!!
Marilee
Rejection is still rejection, whether it makes sense or not. There is a little part of us that wants everyone to like us. Some of us have that feeling more than others.
I agree with Marilee that some friendships are seasonal. You never know when that season might return, though. God fills our life with such surprises. I have reconnected with 5th grade friends via Facebook -- some of whom I thought I'd never contact again.
I rejoice in the many friends he has given me over the years. I know he will add more as life changes, and I praise Him for that! I'm looking forward to seeing Julie's cute flower girl!
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